Scarlett Johansson once described monogamy as something that requires considerable effort, saying she did not think it was natural for people to be monogamous.

Her 2017 comments predated her marriage to comedian Colin Jost and reflected her views on the effort involved in maintaining a monogamous relationship.

In a 2017 interview with Playboy, Johansson said marriage was a romantic idea but argued that remaining monogamous required work. She also acknowledged that she respected monogamous relationships and had participated in them herself.

Johansson began dating Jost in 2017, became engaged in 2019 and married him in October 2020, according to reports. Her earlier comments do not necessarily reflect her current views or the private dynamics of her marriage.

Her remarks nevertheless raise a broader question about relationships: if commitment takes effort, what does research suggest helps couples maintain a satisfying long-term partnership?

Why Did Scarlett Johansson Question Monogamy?

Johansson's 2017 comments reflected her view that people can experience competing desires while choosing to remain committed to one partner. She suggested that the effort many couples describe when discussing monogamy challenged the idea that it always comes naturally.

She also distinguished the romantic idea of marriage from the responsibility involved in maintaining one. In the same interview, she described marriage as a meaningful commitment that can change a couple's family dynamic and daily life.

Her comments should not be interpreted as evidence that monogamy is psychologically unhealthy or that people are naturally unable to remain faithful. Relationship structures and expectations vary, and one person's perspective cannot establish what is natural for everyone.

Instead, the discussion highlights a distinction between attraction, personal impulses and the choices people make in a relationship. Commitment may involve navigating competing priorities while deciding what agreements and boundaries work for both partners.

What Does Research Say About Lasting Relationships?

Long-term relationships are influenced by more than romantic attraction. Research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences analysed 43 longitudinal couples datasets from 29 laboratories to identify factors associated with relationship quality.

The researchers found that relationship-specific factors, including perceived partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, perceived partner satisfaction and conflict, were among the strongest predictors of relationship quality.

These findings suggest that how partners experience their relationship can matter substantially. Feeling valued, believing a partner is committed and managing conflict may be more useful indicators of relationship quality than assuming that a lasting partnership should always feel effortless.

However, the study identified associations and predictors; it did not establish that every couple must follow the same formula or that one relationship structure guarantees greater satisfaction.

A relationship can require effort without being unhealthy. The more important question is whether both people feel respected, safe and satisfied, and whether they can address problems together.

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Why Does Commitment Sometimes Feel Like Work?

Relationships change as people navigate careers, family responsibilities, financial pressures, parenting and personal growth. These transitions can affect how much time partners spend together, how they communicate and what they need from one another.

Disagreements are also inevitable in many relationships. What matters is not simply whether conflict occurs, but how partners respond to it. Persistent hostility, withdrawal and unresolved disagreements can undermine relationship quality, while constructive communication can help couples understand each other's expectations.

Commitment also involves ongoing decisions. Partners may need to negotiate boundaries, discuss attraction and intimacy honestly, and revisit how they define loyalty as their circumstances change.

That does not mean people should remain in every relationship regardless of the cost. Effort is not the same as tolerating disrespect, coercion or harm. A healthy partnership requires mutual participation rather than one person carrying the entire emotional burden.

Can Couples Build Stronger Relationships Over Time?

Relationship satisfaction is not fixed. Couples may experience periods of closeness and difficulty, and their needs can change over time. Research on relationship commitment suggests that people's expectations about future satisfaction can influence their decisions to maintain a relationship. Plans to improve the relationship and anticipated life changes may also shape those expectations.

For couples, this can mean discussing expectations openly rather than assuming both partners understand commitment in the same way. Conversations about exclusivity, boundaries, future plans and emotional needs can help clarify whether both people want the same kind of relationship.

Appreciation and responsiveness matter, too. Showing interest in a partner's concerns, acknowledging their contributions and addressing disagreements respectfully can support a sense of security and connection.

There is no single approach that guarantees a lasting relationship. Monogamy is a choice that some people value, while others choose different relationship arrangements. What matters is that the people involved understand and freely agree to the arrangement, with honesty and respect at its centre.

Johansson's comments offer a starting point for discussing the effort commitment can involve, but they do not establish whether monogamy is natural. Research instead identifies perceived partner commitment, appreciation, satisfaction and conflict as important predictors of relationship quality.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • What factors contribute to relationship quality?
    Perceived partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, perceived partner satisfaction, and conflict management are strong predictors of relationship quality.
  • Why might commitment feel like work?
    Commitment involves navigating competing priorities, ongoing decisions, and changes in personal circumstances, which require effort and communication.
  • Can couples build stronger relationships over time?
    Yes, by discussing expectations openly, showing appreciation, and addressing disagreements constructively, couples can strengthen their relationship over time.
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